Disappointment

Disappointment is Inevitable

Experiencing disappointment is part of life. From letdowns as simple as a vending machine being out of your favorite snack to heartache as big as betrayal by someone you love, disappointment is inevitable. Scripture lets us know to expect problems and thereby, disappointment. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” John 16:33, (ESV).

God’s Word says we’ll have tribulation, but it also says we can have peace through Jesus. This is not to say we should sit by idly while everything falls apart around us. We still need to do our best, do the right thing, and help others. But we can turn our disappointment over to God in exchange for peace whenever our efforts fall short. It takes practice but having faith that God has it all under control lifts a weight off your shoulders.

It’s Normal

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12, ESV). It doesn’t get any clearer than this. Scripture says not to be surprised when we have problems. It’s normal! So, if problems are normal, we really need to be ready for disappointment.

Parents are all too familiar with training and guiding their children on the path that is in their best interest only to have them make a detour. We can’t control other people – even our children, especially if they’re adults. All we can do is pray for them, be available to them without judgement, and be the example they need. Leave the rest to God, because meddling only pushes them further away and worry only ages you prematurely.

It’s frustrating when you see someone making poor decisions and you can help, but your help is not wanted. The pain we’re going through isn’t always about us. The person making poor decisions has something to learn and some people insist on learning the hard way.

Giving Your Best

Disappointment can come even after we have done everything skillfully and with the best intentions. In the past, I have been asked to volunteer my expertise to a church. I spent hours planning, researching, shopping with my own money, working, and bringing it all together in a fashion I was proud to present to God. All my effort was then disregarded rather than appreciated. I was hurt, but I took it to God. A church that doesn’t respect its members – and this was not an isolated incident for me or others in the church – is not worthy of the efforts and sacrifices presented by those members.

Just because you do something well and your service or gift was needed, does not mean it will be received well or valued. That’s okay. Our acts should be for God and not our own ego. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58, ESV). As long as our efforts are done to the best of our ability and for the Lord, we can be confident He is pleased with us.

After praying about the incident with the unappreciative church, God led me and the other members to churches where we are all able to serve and communities are made better through our efforts. No one is perfect or good at everything, but there is a place for us all and God can use each and every one of us. If one church or organization is not a good fit, find another one because there is always a need. Don’t let disappointment over things working out differently than you expected thwart your good deeds.

All We Can Do

The bottom line is that all we can do, is all we can do. If our hearts are in the right place and we’re doing our best, that’s all we can do. Bad things happening is reality, and we don’t always get what we want or what we expect. I want my dog, Baron, to stay off the couch and out of the trash when I’m gone. Unless I barricade the couch and keep the trash locked down, he is going to do both. Being disappointed does nothing to help the situation, but it does teach me how to improve my efforts the next time. This is how I know to lock down the trash and barricade the couch.

When people let you down, especially close loved ones, do some introspection. If you find you did something wrong, fix it or make amends. If you did nothing wrong, you have to let God sort it out because it’s all you can do, and he really does know more than we do. Whether you did something wrong or not, learn from the experience.

Don’t Sweat It

The hardest disappointment to deal with is when you don’t know what went wrong. If you don’t know the problem, you can’t fix it. Learning from it can even pose a challenge because you don’t know what to focus on or what to change. But just like any other disappointment, obsessing over it will not make it better.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV).

I am not making the claim that letting God handle it and not worrying about it is easy. It’s extremely hard. But I do have extreme disappointment and heartache in my life. Since giving it to God, my thinking is clearer, my days are more productive, and the burden to fix everything is gone. The situation still hurts, but “the peace that surpasses all understanding” now makes sense to me because I’m experiencing it. We just have to have faith.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

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