Mother’s Day is not all hugs and joy for everyone. Those who do enjoy the warm fuzzies on this day need not hide their feelings for those who don’t. However, understanding that many people experience great sadness and turmoil can prevent unintentional hurtful comments. Not everyone has a mother, or a loving mother, and not all mothers have their children. A woman who lost her child(ren) is not having a happy day no matter how many times she hears it.
The national holiday began under President Woodrow Wilson in 1914. This came seven years after Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania held a memorial to honor her deceased mother. What began as a daughter paying the utmost respect to motherhood became a commercialized holiday. For this reason, Jarvis, in her final years, attempted to get Mother’s Day removed as a national holiday (Britanica.com).
Granted, there are plenty of mothers who manipulate the holiday as a selfish means to get what they want. I believe most view motherhood as an honor and their children as their greatest accomplishment and treasure. I personally feel that my children are the best earthly gift I could ever have. Every woman who shares this opinion, and for whatever reason does not have her child(ren), will not be experiencing joy. Likewise, anyone having sorrow or a negative association with “mother,” will also not be feeling the hugs and joy.
To wish a happy Mother’s Day to someone mourning the loss of their mother seems cruel in the present-day context. In Anna Jarvis’s intention of honoring mothers, perhaps, “God bless your mother,” would be more appropriate. To honor mothers doesn’t mean pointing out a lack or expecting people to feel festive. No one says, “Happy Funeral Day,” because it’s not about feeling happy, it’s about honoring a life.
Honoring Parents
Scripture tells us that children should honor both of their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you,” (Deuteronomy 5:16, ESV). This verse isn’t just a suggestion to behave as a child. God thought it important enough to include it with the Ten Commandments. It orders that we all honor our parents so we can have long life and blessings.
Honoring your parents is to respect them in this life and after their death – including imperfect parents. How can we do this? We can speak kindly to and of them, respect their Christian morals and values, care for them when they’re sick. When parents grow old with frail bodies and failing memories, they still deserve and need to know they’re important. They’re still worthy of an elder’s respect and not to be treated as an inconvenience or a burden. The previous Scripture says we’ll be rewarded for doing this.
Honoring Mother
The Bible devotes Proverbs 31 to describing a wife of noble character and honoring mother. This woman has great business savvy, is talented, caring, takes care of her home and family, and she works hard. And verse 28 says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” The woman described here is not a quiet and obedient little subservient housewife cooking and cleaning in the background. Oh, she cooks and cleans, but she does so much more and does it well! She is respected for her personal and professional qualities and her children and husband call her blessed for it!
A mother is noble, respected, wise, responsible, nurturing, resourceful, and honored. Seems like a greeting card and flowers – albeit very nice – are a little light on the honor due. And no amount of cards or flowers can replace time spent with those who call her Mother. If she’s still alive, your mother wants your hugs because you are her joy.
The mother of young children is overjoyed with a hand drawn card and some blossoming weeds picked from the yard. The child who does this is honoring his mother with everything he has, and she feels it. An adult who takes the time to write her feelings for her mother is also giving of herself. If you truly honor your mother, it’s not hard to display that honor. Just remember that honoring your mother should be every day and not just once a year.
The greatest mother’s gift of all is described in 3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth,” (ESV).
Original Intent
Personally, I think it would benefit everyone if Anna Jarvis’s original intent to honor her mother was recognized. At a memorial service, the deceased is recognized for her character and selfless acts. People reminisce about fun times and moments of inspiration. The family and attendees support each other through the memory of the deceased’s loving nature. In short, they honor the life of someone who was loved and will be sorely missed. Can’t we do the same thing for the living? Shouldn’t we do the same thing?
I present a challenge to you this Mother’s Day. Revert a commercialized holiday back to a meaningful appreciation of the woman who gave you life. Recall the fun you’ve had with her, the way she nursed you to health when you were sick. Remember the gleam in her eye when she talks about you to anyone who’ll listen. Respect her countless sleepless nights preparing a surprise for you or making you a costume you requested. The meals she meticulously made just for you and the desserts she created just to see you smile.
Mom, who cherishes every breath she has just to see you take yours. God bless moms everywhere, both living and passed on.
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