Is Anyone Okay?
Life is stressful and I often wonder, “Is anyone okay?” I believe mental health stigma is better than it used to be, but that isn’t saying much. People are still leery to admit they’re struggling emotionally. There are people who still act like mental illness is a virus. And some people treat those with a mental illness as though they’re inferior. Are the people who act superior projecting on others to deflect from their own issues? That was a rhetorical question. I think we all know the answer. To suggest there is anyone who never struggles is just ridiculous.
In our fast-paced world, no one seems to have time to relax, recharge, or permit themselves to make a mistake. This perfectionistic attitude is a personality trait linked to mental disorder, not a perfect human. Even God rested, so why do we think we can’t? “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done” (Genesis 2:2, ESV). Granted, God created a universe, but his bar is quite a bit higher than ours.
Scripture commands us to rest. “Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, a holy convocation. You shall do no work. It is a Sabbath to the Lord in all your dwelling places” (Leviticus 23:3, ESV). Yet, we continue to run ourselves ragged. Who doesn’t get stressed, overwhelmed, or depressed? Why would anyone be ashamed to admit these feelings? Why, when someone asks us how we are, do we automatically respond, “Fine,” like we have something to hide?
We’re Not Fooling Anyone
Hard as we try to present ourselves as stable rocks of excellent health, people notice our struggle. I was recently leading a group meditation. I asked the group what they needed or wanted for the session. Everyone looked at the same person. This person stated that she didn’t know what she needed. Someone else immediately responded, “A lot of help.” As funny as that was, the client who made the statement wasn’t being disrespectful or insulting. She cares deeply for the person and recognized an overburdened and exhausted friend.
There are tell-tale signs when we need “a lot of help.” We forget things, make mistakes, feel sluggish, snap at people with little to no provocation. People notice regardless of how hard we try to hide it or how many times we insist we’re “fine.”
A refusal to admit a struggle isn’t always fear of thinking others will think less of you. Too often it’s due to reaching out and being ignored in the past. Asking for help and having that person say they don’t have time or showing a complete lack of empathy hurts. It’s natural to try to protect ourselves by denying others the chance to hurt us. Instead, we claim we’re “fine,” when deep down inside, we’re screaming, “I’m not okay! Please help me!”
God Knows We’re Not Okay
Scripture tells us to rest on the seventh day, but also to honor God on that day. Why is this important? Because God is our Father and parents want to help their children. Resting from life’s rat-race and focusing on God with worship and studying his Word is medicine to our weary souls. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, ESV). God does heal us, but he also uses others to heal us.
Professional counselors and physicians have the training to diagnose and treat and we should utilize these services. However, professionals are not the only people God endows with the spirit and ability to help others. I intentionally had three children under the age of three years old. Even though it was by design, and I loved every second with them, three kids under three is stressful!
During those toddler years God knew I needed support. I had complete strangers come up to me while shopping and tell me God told them to pray for me. This only happened a couple times. I wasn’t an out-of-control maniac, but I was stressed to the max and God sent people to help. I also had trusted church ladies offer to watch my kids so I could rest for the afternoon. Admittedly, at the time, I thought people saw me as weak. Looking back, I know they were blessings from God to help a very tired mother.
Not Being Okay is Okay
As a society, we need to recognize that not being okay is okay. Even Jesus got tired and took time away from everyone to talk to God alone. Whether people with everyday stress and problems or more serious health issues, everyone needs help, and help is available. Pretending an issue doesn’t exist does not make it go away. Prescribed and monitored medications, therapies, and personal support are all wonderful things.
No one is ashamed of getting treatment for cancer, so why should treatment for mental health be any different? Perhaps if we rested and spent more time in God’s Word, we would require less outside support. Less work, less stress and seriousness and more fun and worship does wonders for mental health. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22, ESV).
If we know that God knows we’re all not okay, why don’t we offer to help others more? You’re not the only one struggling – you’re not a freak. We all struggle so don’t think no one understands what you’re going through. A kind word can be all it takes to turn someone’s day around. Caring enough to pray for someone or offer them a hand can be an answer to someone’s prayers. We’re all in this together. We need to work as a team and respect our need to rest.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV).
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