Serenity Christian Muse

Family

Linda Thomas

4 Oct, 2023

How important is family? Is your family the most important thing to you? Do you have people you’d like to kick out of your family tree? We cannot pick our family. God picks our family, or at least the blood relatives. Spousal choices are usually solely our own decision, and those decisions come with in-laws, who have no say. But I digress. The point is, we don’t pick our parents, siblings, cousins, and other blood relatives. So, what if we don’t like them?

Sibling rivalries are as old as the very first family on earth. Happily, few have results like Cain and Abel’s tragic story told in chapter 4 of Genesis. Of course, disdain for family members is not limited to siblings. It may be a cousin or an uncle, or your mother’s second cousin twice removed. As children, we have no choice in who we have to be around. As adults, we can usually choose to stay away from whomever we want. But avoiding people may not always be the best option. It may not be possible to stay away from just one person in a family.

Everyone does dumb things when they’re young.  We all have regrets. Just because someone is a bratty child does not predestine them to becoming an abhorrible adult. Life has a way of teaching many obnoxious children how to behave as they journey through adulthood. Hanging onto childhood grudges is itself childish. People change and everyone deserves a second chance.

Strangers

Who are the strangers in my family? I attended a celebration of life for an uncle several weeks ago. The guests were almost exclusively family, and I was embarrassed to not know any of them. I knew my brother’s family, and my aunts and first cousins, and that was it. Sitting at the table eating and looking around at all the people was like sitting in a restaurant with strangers. Even worse, we don’t live that far from each other. So, what happened that made my family strangers?

Time changes people and even life. We get absorbed in the busy-ness of our own lives. When we lose the family member who seems to be the glue holding everyone together, we fall apart. Having differences with people is part of life. Differences and little spats are normal and shouldn’t cause rifts in the family, but they do. Competition instead of supporting each other hurts both sides. Also, listening to someone bash another family member without letting the other person defend themselves can have catastrophic consequences.

As adults, we need to do better. Kids need to grow up knowing and playing with their cousins. We need to hear the stories from our elders. Get-togethers should happen more often than when someone passes. Immediate family members need to support each other and be a part of each other’s lives.

Toxic Family

This is not to say that we should immerse ourselves in a toxic family member’s scheme to spew evil everywhere. According to WebMD, several signs are associated with toxic people: the need to be constantly reassured they are right and everyone is out to get them; manipulating others into changing their beliefs and doing things they don’t want to do; causing conflict, uneasiness, and emotional pain; disregarding boundaries; causing defensiveness or feeling interrogated to name a few. “Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart,” Proverbs 11:29 (ESV).

Toxic people are always starting stories/gossip with, “Don’t tell ____, but…” They don’t want you to tell the person they’re talking about because they’re lying. They lie about people to make you not like them. Then, they lie about you to the other person, so they won’t talk to you. They demand complete allegiance from everyone around them. And they require their ‘friends’ to completely alienate those they deem enemies, a.k.a. people who can expose their lies. They don’t care who they hurt or how much suffering they cause. Their needs are the only thing that matters.

It’s also common for toxic people to project their wrongdoing onto others. For example, accusing a spouse of cheating when they are the one cheating. They’re masters of gaslighting – causing you to doubt your own perceptions and even your memories. Apologies from toxic people are rare to non-existent. So, if you have someone in your family like this, you probably should keep your distance. It’s unlikely that you have many people in your family like this. Pray for the family members who are toxic.

Love the Mess

Most people think their family is messed up, and there is probably a degree of dysfunction in every family. Let’s face it, none of us are perfect. However, family members who love you deserve a chance before you attend their funeral. Perhaps what you believe about them is unfair, distorted, or a lie fed to you by a toxic person.

Unhealthy families have always existed. Jacob and Esau, twin sons of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis chapter 27 is an example. Jacob deceived their father, Isaac, into thinking he was his brother, Esau, to receive the blessing intended for Esau. The blessing belonged to Esau because he was the oldest. Rebekah, was a co-conspirator in the fraud, which makes this family story even more dysfunctional. When Esau found out what happened, he planned to murder Jacob. When Rebekah learned of Esau’s plan, she sent Jacob to live with her brother Laban to keep him safe. Still think your family’s messed up?

We read in Genesis chapter 33, many years later, Jacob returns home with his wives, children, servants, and livestock. He is afraid that Esau is still angry with him, so he sends servants ahead with a gift of livestock. Esau, with 400 servants, immediately traveled to meet his brother and threw his arms around him and kissed him. The brothers forgave each other, but it is likely that Jacob’s beloved mother, Rebekah, died while he was gone. What a tragedy!

Except in the case of toxicity, if you have family, love them, pray for them, and don’t expect perfection. Romans 12:9 gives us great advice for family, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” We’re not promised our next breath. Cherish every possible moment before they’re gone.

 

Linda Thomas

17 May, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

be kind lettering on white surface

Is there any such thing as customer service anymore, or even basic human kindness? It seems that anywhere you go, people are grouchy, impatient, people-haters. It’s rare to ask any type of store employee for assistance, and actually get help with a cheerful attitude. Even getting help with a bad attitude is infrequent. What I’ve been encountering are employees who pass the buck to another employee I have to find and ask again. Or the employee automatically says they don’t have or don’t provide what I’m asking about.

Have you ever asked a cashier to check a price and gotten the eye roll? Ever asked about a product and the employee acts like an expert, but clearly has no idea what they’re saying? My all-time pet-peeve is asking for an item and being told, “If it’s not out, we don’t have it.” How do they know I’m not missing it on the shelf? How are they sure what I’m even talking about? And is that huge storeroom really completely empty? I’ve worked in retail. The storeroom is not empty.

I understand that everyone is working short since the Covid pandemic. I don’t understand why everyone is working short. Where did all the workers go? But even if your job gets harder, you shouldn’t take it out on customers. If there weren’t any customers, there wouldn’t be a job. It doesn’t cost any more to be kind than it does to be condescending and rude. And don’t even get me started on hospital emergency departments!

Awfulness

Employees are so awful and hostile compared to when “the customer is always right” was a thing. But it isn’t just employees. I have also witnessed customers being totally outrageous and allowing their children to be awful. People like this can definitely make a workday miserable. Coworkers everywhere are making others hate their choice of employment. Why is everyone being so nasty to everyone else without provocation? Why have so many adult children disowned their parents? How did selfish, arrogant, lying, viscous, unreasonable, and entitled people become the norm?

God warned us about the hearts of people in the end times:

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

2 Timothy 3:1-5, ESV

The last part of this Scripture, “avoid such people,” isn’t easy. You can’t always get another job or move. Caring about people who behave in such a manner is also hard. You don’t want to push them away, but you can’t condone their actions. Even though the Bible foretold of this unbearable society, it says it will be difficult, not that we can fix it. This doesn’t mean complicity.

What Do We Do?

So, if we’re not to be complicit or go around telling everyone how to behave, what do we do? We’re instructed to “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction,” (2 Timothy 4:2, ESV). I don’t believe I’ll be preaching to the cashier rolling her eyes, unless God clearly says to. The point is to know the Word, live the Word, and be prepared to defend the Word. We should give instruction if the situation warrants, such as lovingly talking to a family member or close friend.

With the world seemingly turning on its head as prophesied in Scripture, nastiness is sadly here to the end. Since we can’t change other people or force anyone to do the right thing, we need to manage our reactions. Beginning your day expecting people to be awful can either be negative or positive. You can either wait for the worst in everyone and let it ruin your mood and your day. Or, you can guard yourself by knowing the worst is likely and being prepared with a positive reaction plan.

Being prepared for negativity involves knowing and living the Word and choosing to be positive and kind. This doesn’t mean you have to let yourself be taken advantage of or treated badly. It just means you won’t get sucked into the sludge of negativity and horribleness.

More to Come

With the Bible warning us of more to come along the lines of people adopting abhorrent characteristics, prayer is crucial. Pray for others and yourself to see the truth. Pray for protection. And pray that you will not be deceived. We shouldn’t accept evil nature as normal, but we shouldn’t be surprised by it either. Never give up on loved ones. God still hears and answers prayers.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,” (Colossians 3:12, ESV). Guard your heart with goodness.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

14 May, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

mother and children walks near body of water

Mother’s Day is not all hugs and joy for everyone. Those who do enjoy the warm fuzzies on this day need not hide their feelings for those who don’t. However, understanding that many people experience great sadness and turmoil can prevent unintentional hurtful comments. Not everyone has a mother, or a loving mother, and not all mothers have their children. A woman who lost her child(ren) is not having a happy day no matter how many times she hears it.

The national holiday began under President Woodrow Wilson in 1914. This came seven years after Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania held a memorial to honor her deceased mother. What began as a daughter paying the utmost respect to motherhood became a commercialized holiday. For this reason, Jarvis, in her final years, attempted to get Mother’s Day removed as a national holiday (Britanica.com).

Granted, there are plenty of mothers who manipulate the holiday as a selfish means to get what they want. I believe most view motherhood as an honor and their children as their greatest accomplishment and treasure. I personally feel that my children are the best earthly gift I could ever have. Every woman who shares this opinion, and for whatever reason does not have her child(ren), will not be experiencing joy. Likewise, anyone having sorrow or a negative association with “mother,” will also not be feeling the hugs and joy.

To wish a happy Mother’s Day to someone mourning the loss of their mother seems cruel in the present-day context. In Anna Jarvis’s intention of honoring mothers, perhaps, “God bless your mother,” would be more appropriate. To honor mothers doesn’t mean pointing out a lack or expecting people to feel festive. No one says, “Happy Funeral Day,” because it’s not about feeling happy, it’s about honoring a life.

Honoring Parents

Scripture tells us that children should honor both of their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you,” (Deuteronomy 5:16, ESV). This verse isn’t just a suggestion to behave as a child. God thought it important enough to include it with the Ten Commandments. It orders that we all honor our parents so we can have long life and blessings.

Honoring your parents is to respect them in this life and after their death – including imperfect parents. How can we do this? We can speak kindly to and of them, respect their Christian morals and values, care for them when they’re sick. When parents grow old with frail bodies and failing memories, they still deserve and need to know they’re important. They’re still worthy of an elder’s respect and not to be treated as an inconvenience or a burden. The previous Scripture says we’ll be rewarded for doing this.

Honoring Mother

The Bible devotes Proverbs 31 to describing a wife of noble character and honoring mother. This woman has great business savvy, is talented, caring, takes care of her home and family, and she works hard. And verse 28 says, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” The woman described here is not a quiet and obedient little subservient housewife cooking and cleaning in the background. Oh, she cooks and cleans, but she does so much more and does it well! She is respected for her personal and professional qualities and her children and husband call her blessed for it!

A mother is noble, respected, wise, responsible, nurturing, resourceful, and honored. Seems like a greeting card and flowers – albeit very nice – are a little light on the honor due. And no amount of cards or flowers can replace time spent with those who call her Mother. If she’s still alive, your mother wants your hugs because you are her joy.

The mother of young children is overjoyed with a hand drawn card and some blossoming weeds picked from the yard. The child who does this is honoring his mother with everything he has, and she feels it. An adult who takes the time to write her feelings for her mother is also giving of herself. If you truly honor your mother, it’s not hard to display that honor. Just remember that honoring your mother should be every day and not just once a year.

The greatest mother’s gift of all is described in 3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth,” (ESV).

Original Intent

Personally, I think it would benefit everyone if Anna Jarvis’s original intent to honor her mother was recognized. At a memorial service, the deceased is recognized for her character and selfless acts. People reminisce about fun times and moments of inspiration. The family and attendees support each other through the memory of the deceased’s loving nature. In short, they honor the life of someone who was loved and will be sorely missed. Can’t we do the same thing for the living? Shouldn’t we do the same thing?

I present a challenge to you this Mother’s Day. Revert a commercialized holiday back to a meaningful appreciation of the woman who gave you life. Recall the fun you’ve had with her, the way she nursed you to health when you were sick. Remember the gleam in her eye when she talks about you to anyone who’ll listen. Respect her countless sleepless nights preparing a surprise for you or making you a costume you requested. The meals she meticulously made just for you and the desserts she created just to see you smile.

Mom, who cherishes every breath she has just to see you take yours. God bless moms everywhere, both living and passed on.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

3 May, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

Blue butterfly in the palms of someone's hands.

The Bible warns us against conforming to the world and being led astray. Small concessions grease the tracks on a slippery slope. I don’t think most people conform for the sake of conforming, rather they’re trying to keep peace. The problem with this type of peacemaking is that when you meet selfish demands, the demands increase. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will,” (Romans 12:2, ESV).

God wants us to transform ourselves by renewing our minds to be focused on God and his Word. When new parents bring their baby home from the hospital, their entire focus is on caring for that baby. They make sure the home is safe and the baby has everything she or he needs. They alter the life they used to live to make the baby their new focus. Parents keep their baby from harmful environments, activities, and people. As the baby grows, they instill that sense of self-protection in their child so the child is able to make safe decisions.

If we put effort into protecting ourselves from potential worldly harm, we’ll develop the discernment for God’s will. How do we learn to protect ourselves? We study the Word. Support from other Christians is a great help, but no one is perfect. Just because someone is trying to follow God’s Word doesn’t mean they won’t mess up or even be deceived. It would be irresponsible and lazy to copy everything a Christian does without confirming alignment with Scripture. Christians aren’t perfect, and not everyone who claims to be a Christian even knows what they’re talking about.

To What Are You Conforming?

Conformity, in itself isn’t a bad thing. To conform is to adhere to rules and norms. In a household, conforming to the rules of putting dirty clothes in the hamper and regular handwashing are desirable. In this example, the rules benefit everyone and harm no one. A job that requires employees to lie to coverup deceitful practices helps the organization but harms the public. An employee who doesn’t want to lie is also harmed in this conformity. If or when the truth gets out, the organization is harmed by losing credibility and maybe lawsuits.

Conforming to time-tested principles of a healthy diet is good for your health and a sensible budget is good financially. Conforming to the “I deserve it all right now” societal mentality is devastating. Actions have consequences. The product of a healthy diet is typically a lean healthy body. The effect of having it all right now is typically financial ruin. In the latter example, the concept of hard work and earning what you want seem to be lacking.

God gave commandments to the Israelites in Exodus chapter 20. They include not murdering, stealing, or committing adultery. These are big rules that most people agree should be followed. What about the other commandments like, honoring your parents and having no other gods? To honor your parents is to respect them. Granted, some people have murderers for parents, but most don’t. Do you respect your parents when you disagree with them? Do you put anything before God; money, relationships, career, addictions? Anything that takes precedence over God is another god.

Transform

Instead of trying to adhere to Biblical rules, Scripture says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Obviously, the Ten Commandments are important and should be followed. But when you renew your mind – your thinking and focus – your behavior is transformed. As a hypnotherapist, I help people focus on positive things they want for self-improvement. As clients practice meditating on the desired outcome, their behavior changes to make the outcome reality. They renew their minds and transform for the better. People who concentrate on negative or evil thoughts tend to live out their negative thoughts.

To read Scripture, pray, fellowship with believers, and truly seek God’s guidance all the time will renew your mind. Considering what God wants before you act and spending focused time in prayer will become an automatic way of life. Have you ever been around someone obsessed with a hobby or sport? The way they think and the things they do revolve around that obsession. God wants us to make him our obsession.

When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment is, He said:

“The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than If everyone loved God above all else and loved others as much as themselves, there’d be no room for evil. Note this Scripture doesn’t say to like or trust everyone. It’s possible to love someone without liking their behavior. And just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’d be a good babysitting option.

Transforming is Better

Conforming doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it usually is. Transforming from a renewed and Godly mind is clearly the better option. When a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, it can go farther with its new wings. As a butterfly, it’s more beautiful, and it helps others by pollinating plants. The caterpillar’s transformation makes everyone’s life better.

Think of it this way; you have a hated room in your house that is ugly and full of clutter. Would you want to learn to function in the room the way it is? Or would you rather clear it out, clean, redecorate, and fill it with useful items and functional furniture? I think the choice is obvious. This is what God wants us to do with our minds.

When we clear out the cluttered thoughts and dysfunctional behaviors, we can then replace it with love. Filling our minds with love causes love to spill out and be shared with others. This doesn’t mean seeing the world through rose-colored glasses either. We should seek to see the world through God’s eyes – realistically but with love and compassion.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

12 Apr, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

man in black shirt and gray denim pants sitting on gray padded bench

There are so many messed up people in the world. By “messed up” I mean, struggling for normalcy while dealing with trauma. The reason there are so many people struggling is not just because of all the bad in the world. Many people experience trauma from situations that others dismiss, which only adds to the person’s suffering. Someone going through an exceptionally distressing event who’s treated like it’s normal, may experience a diminished sense of self-worth. When no one cares about your pain, it’s hard to feel any value.

A child being bullied at school who’s told, “It’s just part of being a kid,” may feel a double negative effect. One from the bullying, and the other from being told she’s overreacting. Maybe the child is misconstruing the situation. Maybe the bully wants to be friends but lacks social skills. Or maybe the bully is intentionally threatening her and causing her as much emotional and psychological distress as possible. When others minimize her fear and torment, they cause her to feel like she doesn’t matter.

It may not even be that people dismiss others’ pain out of indifference. Life has become a non-stop rat race. Everyone is dealing with their own problems. People’s lives have become so chaotic that it takes effort to see beyond your own world. This is a problem.

Scripture tells us to help each other. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV). And the Golden Rule everyone has heard, “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them,” Luke 6:31, ESV). We have to help each other.

Messed Up Schedules

Everything is so expensive these days, and technology expenses are something we didn’t have when I was a kid. Now, on top of housing, food, utilities, and transportation, we have cell phones, internet, computers, tablets, streaming services, etc. And if you have kids, you’re constantly paying for some extracurricular, medical service, clothes, and so on. With all these expenses, everyone is working all the time to pay all these bills. With all that work, everyone is tired and stressed. Being mentally and physically exhausted all the time makes it difficult to focus on or even notice anything else.

So, everyone is busy, stressed, and dealing with their own struggles. Everyone is essentially wandering around in the dark with the same issues and needs. Instead of bumping into each other and getting more frustrated, can’t we all help each other? Let’s say a group of people are all trying to get around a large branch in the road. The branch is covering the road and too large for one person to move. Wouldn’t it make sense for everyone to move the branch together? That way, everyone participates, and everyone achieves their goal in less time than doing it alone.

Everyone I talk to is so busy they don’t know if they’re coming or going. And, let’s be honest, when someone slows us down, we get impatient and angry. When life is too chaotic to slow down for a few minutes, efficiency and quality are lost. Slowing down makes sense. We need to clean up our messed-up schedules. I used to think the expression, “Stop and smell the roses,” was just about appreciating things. But, when you take the time to appreciate things, your mind and body respond positively. When your mind and body are healthy, productivity increases.

Secretly Messed Up

There are events society deems worthy of calling trauma, e.g., military combat, rape, brutal attack. However, trauma also results from repeated occurrences like years of verbal and psychological abuse. How about sexual abuse from someone who “loves” you? This abuse causes the victim to question everything they know and think. An unhealthy mind can’t always see what the problem is or the solution. Someone looking at this situation objectively might say, “Stay away from them.” But that may not be possible. What if it’s a parent or a spouse the victim depends on? What if the victim believes the lies?

Oftentimes, the victim is aware of the problem, but they’re afraid to do anything about it. People who intentionally abuse others don’t want to be exposed. For this reason, they’re good at controlling their victim. The victim understands that telling anyone or trying to get away will have worse consequences than the current abuse. Does that not sound traumatic?

Being trapped in an unbearable situation can cause people to snap and do unspeakable things. Many people kill themselves because they don’t know how to stop their suffering. This is not a personal problem. This is a societal problem. People need to notice signs in others who are hurting. Someone who’s life is so messed up they don’t know what to do, and they fear doing anything, need help. It costs nothing and takes little time to ask someone if they’re okay. Simply letting someone know their life is valuable could be the difference between their life or death.

Talk

If you’re hurting, there is someone who can help. If no one is listening to you, call a crisis line. Even if you believe you’re not worth someone’s time, talk to someone, because that belief, is not okay. Telling someone what you’re going through can be scary, but it’s necessary to get help. Everyone deserves to be safe and happy. “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble,” (Psalm 9:9, ESV).

Talk to someone you notice is struggling. An article on the NAMI.org website, Warning Signs and Symptoms, lists possible signs of someone in distress. A few indicators include a change in mood or behavior, isolating, overuse of drugs/alcohol, confusion, and ailments without obvious cause. You would want someone to help you or someone you love. Let’s all help each other in this messed up world.

Below are several help lines to reach out to. Don’t keep it bottled up. Talk to someone.

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988 (Call or Text)

Teen Hope Line: 877-870-4673 (Call or Text)

SAMHSA National Help Line: 800-662-4357 (Call) or 435748 (Text)

Page of help line contact info: https://findahelpline.com/us

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

22 Feb, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

Two hands making the shape of a heart to show everyone cand do a little

If everyone did a little thing to help someone else, a whole lot would be accomplished. You don’t have to go out of your way or even take extra time to do something nice for someone else. A simple smile as you walk past someone or holding the door for them are little things that make people feel valued. If you’ve ever had someone ignore the smile you gave them, you know how unimportant that made you feel. If you’ve ever experienced someone letting the door shut right in your face, you know what being devalued means.

It costs nothing to be kind but receiving kindness is priceless. Kindness is a win/win. Stacking your dishes on the table after a restaurant meal saves the staff valuable time and says, “Thank you.” Mowing the lawn of an elderly or disabled neighbor lets them know they matter. Sending a greeting card to an old friend tells them you miss and care for them. A simple text to say, “I’m thinking about you,” can change someone’s mood for the day. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, ESV).

This world is full of hurting people. A little compassion can go a long way. Ever have a day where everything goes wrong and begins to spiral out of control? Wouldn’t an unexpected courtesy make a positive change in your attitude? If being kind is our habit, we’re bound to be the one who provides that unexpected courtesy when desperately needed.

Everyone Can Do a Little

My dog, Baron, is training to be a certified therapy dog. Last weekend, his class went to a nursing home to show off what they know. The majority of these residents were like little kids on Christmas morning. As the dogs walked in, the residents sat up, smiled, and reached out to pet them. It was clear the little thing of taking our dogs to visit for a few minutes had an amazing effect. And my heart melted. Every bit of training was worth this moment.

As Baron and I were walking down a hallway, we passed one of Baron’s classmate teams. She asked if we had visited a non-verbal woman who got a huge smile upon seeing other dogs. We hadn’t, so, of course, that is where we went next. True to the claim, this woman could not have smiled any bigger. She never moved any part of her body during Baron’s visit, but she never stopped smiling. As we were leaving her room, I told her to have a great day, to which she replied, “You too!”  

I don’t know if I observed a miracle, or this woman enjoyed messing with staff by choosing to be non-verbal. But I do know my dog’s small act made a big difference in a very positive way. In our debriefing after the visit, someone else did a little thing. Someone visiting the home brought their preschooler. The little girl saw all the dogs in the room and her mom let her come in. The instant those exhausted dogs saw this little girl, they all jumped up, tails wagging, and waited to be petted. A young healthy energetic child revived them.

Do Little Things for Yourself

This was Baron’s first nursing home visit, and he was a bit nervous at first. I thought it was due to the new sounds, smells, and activity, but as I made mental notes, I learned. The residents who were the sickest, were the ones who made him nervous. If you have a dog, you know they have emotions and facial expressions. My little guy was concerned for these people, and he felt bad for them. He was his normal self with residents who were more lively and able to talk to him and pet him.

He was getting a bit overwhelmed, so we took a break for some water and cuddles. We needed to take time out to take care of Baron. Dogs are so good at relieving other people’s stress, we need to remember to relieve theirs. People need to do little things for themselves as well. An overwhelmed person is not the most fun person to be around. And bad stuff doesn’t seem as bad when you’re relaxed and clear-thinking.

Refreshed, Baron resumed his visits again. The last room he entered was a woman who was elated to see him and could not stop hugging him. You see, she used to have a dog that looked like Baron and she missed him terribly. She had an 8 X 10 picture of her dog in her room. When we walked out of her room, the woman grabbed her walker and followed us. I think Baron thought he was a celebrity and loved the attention.

Little Things Matter

Do little things for other people, but also cherish your own little things. I absolutely love hearing my kids call me, “Mom,” and my granddaughter call me, “Gigi.” When Baron chooses to lay with me instead of the floor or his own bed, I feel special. My fiancé bringing home something I casually mentioned tells me he cares enough to remember trivial things I say. When someone tells me something I said in a meditation or hypnosis was helpful to them, I’m encouraged.

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good,” (Romans 12:9, ESV). Let go of the bad thoughts and feelings and hold tight to the good ones. If you fill your mind and life with good, being kind to others will be automatic. When your kindness is not reciprocated, let it go and be thankful for the love and goodness inside you.

Little things matter, so do them freely and shake off the negativity of those who don’t understand. “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world,” (James 1:27, ESV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

1 Feb, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

Is Anyone Okay?

woman sitting in front of macbook looking not okay

Life is stressful and I often wonder, “Is anyone okay?” I believe mental health stigma is better than it used to be, but that isn’t saying much. People are still leery to admit they’re struggling emotionally. There are people who still act like mental illness is a virus. And some people treat those with a mental illness as though they’re inferior. Are the people who act superior projecting on others to deflect from their own issues? That was a rhetorical question. I think we all know the answer. To suggest there is anyone who never struggles is just ridiculous.

In our fast-paced world, no one seems to have time to relax, recharge, or permit themselves to make a mistake. This perfectionistic attitude is a personality trait linked to mental disorder, not a perfect human. Even God rested, so why do we think we can’t? “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done” (Genesis 2:2, ESV). Granted, God created a universe, but his bar is quite a bit higher than ours.

Scripture commands us to rest. “Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, a holy convocation. You shall do no work. It is a Sabbath to the Lord in all your dwelling places” (Leviticus 23:3, ESV). Yet, we continue to run ourselves ragged.  Who doesn’t get stressed, overwhelmed, or depressed? Why would anyone be ashamed to admit these feelings? Why, when someone asks us how we are, do we automatically respond, “Fine,” like we have something to hide?

We’re Not Fooling Anyone

Hard as we try to present ourselves as stable rocks of excellent health, people notice our struggle. I was recently leading a group meditation. I asked the group what they needed or wanted for the session. Everyone looked at the same person. This person stated that she didn’t know what she needed. Someone else immediately responded, “A lot of help.” As funny as that was, the client who made the statement wasn’t being disrespectful or insulting. She cares deeply for the person and recognized an overburdened and exhausted friend.

There are tell-tale signs when we need “a lot of help.” We forget things, make mistakes, feel sluggish, snap at people with little to no provocation. People notice regardless of how hard we try to hide it or how many times we insist we’re “fine.”

A refusal to admit a struggle isn’t always fear of thinking others will think less of you. Too often it’s due to reaching out and being ignored in the past. Asking for help and having that person say they don’t have time or showing a complete lack of empathy hurts. It’s natural to try to protect ourselves by denying others the chance to hurt us. Instead, we claim we’re “fine,” when deep down inside, we’re screaming, “I’m not okay! Please help me!”

God Knows We’re Not Okay

Scripture tells us to rest on the seventh day, but also to honor God on that day. Why is this important? Because God is our Father and parents want to help their children. Resting from life’s rat-race and focusing on God with worship and studying his Word is medicine to our weary souls. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, ESV). God does heal us, but he also uses others to heal us.

Professional counselors and physicians have the training to diagnose and treat and we should utilize these services. However, professionals are not the only people God endows with the spirit and ability to help others. I intentionally had three children under the age of three years old. Even though it was by design, and I loved every second with them, three kids under three is stressful!

During those toddler years God knew I needed support. I had complete strangers come up to me while shopping and tell me God told them to pray for me. This only happened a couple times. I wasn’t an out-of-control maniac, but I was stressed to the max and God sent people to help. I also had trusted church ladies offer to watch my kids so I could rest for the afternoon. Admittedly, at the time, I thought people saw me as weak. Looking back, I know they were blessings from God to help a very tired mother.

Not Being Okay is Okay

As a society, we need to recognize that not being okay is okay. Even Jesus got tired and took time away from everyone to talk to God alone. Whether people with everyday stress and problems or more serious health issues, everyone needs help, and help is available. Pretending an issue doesn’t exist does not make it go away. Prescribed and monitored medications, therapies, and personal support are all wonderful things.

No one is ashamed of getting treatment for cancer, so why should treatment for mental health be any different? Perhaps if we rested and spent more time in God’s Word, we would require less outside support. Less work, less stress and seriousness and more fun and worship does wonders for mental health. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22, ESV).

If we know that God knows we’re all not okay, why don’t we offer to help others more? You’re not the only one struggling – you’re not a freak. We all struggle so don’t think no one understands what you’re going through. A kind word can be all it takes to turn someone’s day around. Caring enough to pray for someone or offer them a hand can be an answer to someone’s prayers. We’re all in this together. We need to work as a team and respect our need to rest.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

26 Jan, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

Can Christians Participate in Hypnosis?

Can Christians participate in hypnosis: silhouette of Christian sitting on the beach at sunset raising hands to God

I get asked all the time, what Christian hypnosis is and “Can Christians participate in hypnosis?” The short answer is, yes. Hypnosis is not forbidden in Scripture. The word, ‘hypnosis’ is not mentioned in the Bible because the term did not exist until James Braid (1795-1860), a Scottish surgeon, coined it in the 1840’s. The Greek root word ‘hypnos’ means ‘sleep.’ The Greek and Latin ‘osis’ means ‘state’ or ‘condition.’ So the term ‘hypnosis’ means ‘sleep state,’ which is a misnomer. Hypnosis is not sleep. A person in hypnosis appears to be asleep but is acutely aware of what is going on around them.

I explain to my clients that hypnosis is guided meditation. By which I mean, as the therapist, I give the client something to focus on – my voice. Another way to describe what I do is visualization. I use descriptive visualizations that comfort the client into a relaxed state – I guide them. It is up to the client to allow the thoughts, visualizations, and suggestions into their mind.

It’s crucial to note that the client, not the therapist, is always in control of the client’s mind. The client can reject or ignore anything said. Clients retain the ability to stop or refuse the process at any time. Clients make the choice to listen to me and accept my suggestions. I cannot force them.

What is Meditation?

If hypnosis is guided meditation, what is meditation? There are many types of meditation. Here are a few with brief descriptions: Transcendental Meditation, or TM, involves repeating a mantra word or phrase over and over by the meditator while sitting. The goal is to transcend, or go beyond, the surface level of thought to a state of calm. This is what most people I encounter think all meditation is. It is not, and this is not what I do or teach my clients.

Mindfulness meditation is focusing on something with as many senses as you can. For example, sitting on the beach at the edge of the water and listening to the waves, wind, and sea gulls. Looking out at the water and noticing the various colors and sizes of the waves etc.

Body Scan meditation is just what it sounds like. You scan your body for sensations, preferably while lying down. You acknowledge the sensation, then let it go. Another type of body scan is known as progressive relaxation. In this meditation, you begin systematically tensing and releasing the muscles in your body.

Contemplative Prayer meditation is intended to bring you closer to God. You first choose a sacred word or phrase, such as Jesus, Holy, God Almighty, Peace, etc. Next, you sit or lie comfortably and focus on God and your relationship. If a negative or distracting thought occurs, silently say your sacred word to dismiss it and resume abiding in God’s presence.

Christian meditation, as described in the Holy Bible, is contemplating or thinking deeply on Scriptures, internalizing them, and drawing nearer to God.

The Hypnosis Process

The process of hypnosis begins with relaxing the client. Remember, hypnosis looks like sleep. Hypnosis occurs in a natural state that can be measured by brainwave activity. Specifically, the alpha and theta states of brainwave activity. These states are sandwiched between fully awake (beta) and sleep (delta). This state can be accomplished through progressive relaxation, focusing on an object, sound or music, visualizing something soothing, etc. Once in the hypnotic state, aka alpha or theta, the hypnotherapist gives suggestions for the desired goal of the client. When finished, the hypnotherapist then instructs the client to ‘wake up,’ often by counting.

Upon waking (beta state), clients report feeling extremely relaxed, calm, and not wanting to move or talk. Clients remember everything that was said to them. They may even state that they heard traffic outside or some other noise that happened while in hypnosis. I’ve had clients tell me they didn’t completely agree with something I said, so they changed it in their mind. For example, I said they were at the ocean, and they chose to visualize the lake instead. The client is always in control of their mind.

I have also had clients refuse to wake up or even fall asleep when I told them to wake up. They were so comfortable and peaceful, they chose to stay in that state or go deeper into delta, which is sleep. It has never taken more than a minute for the client to wake themselves up after I stopped talking to them. I once had a client refuse to wake up after telling her three times. She still had time in her session, so I stopped talking and began getting her recording ready for her to take home. She opened one eye and whispered, “Are we done? I’m really comfortable.”

How Does Hypnosis Work?

The suggestions given during hypnosis for the client to accomplish goals are called post-hypnotic suggestions. Such as, “Only ice-cold water quenches your thirst,” or “Seeing dirty dishes reminds you that God provides for you.” These are suggestions that prompt positive thoughts at the appropriate times for the client. If you’re thinking this sounds like positive affirmations, you’re correct. Positive affirmations are given in the alpha and theta states because you are more focused and able to tune out distractions. In this state, the suggestions bypass the critical mind that tends to fight change and cast doubt.

In most cases, the client need not answer questions or dive into their memory while in hypnosis. They’re free to just relax and allow the positive affirmations into the subconscious without the effort of thinking them up. All clients have to do is listen and allow the positive suggestions in. Think about the difference in reading a book vs. listening to an audio book. With the latter, you can listen while making dinner or lying in bed with your eyes closed. Listening takes less effort, but if you listen while relaxed, you are more focused and get more out of it.

While in the alpha or theta states, you are extremely relaxed and could go to sleep if you wanted. Lying half-asleep and comfortable in bed while choosing to ignore the neighbor’s lawnmower is an example of the hypnotic state. Now imagine hearing your dog about to vomit while in your comfortable bed half-asleep. My guess is you choose to immediately spring out of bed and get the dog outside. This is an example of intentionally leaving the hypnotic state. The client is always in control of their mind.

What is Christian Hypnosis?

Since the Bible doesn’t mention hypnosis directly, is there approval from Scripture for Christian hypnosis? Hypnosis or meditation is a relaxed state of mind and body with focused attention occurring in the alpha and theta states. The Bible not only mentions and approves of Christian meditation but encourages this practice.

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success” (Joshua 1:8, NIV).

In my office, I refuse to do any type of hypnosis that goes against Scripture, such as past life regression. I begin the hypnosis with prayer to God in Jesus’ name, and I use Scriptures relevant to the client’s issue in the hypnosis. Imagery of God and Jesus are often used in the relaxing visualization. The hypnosis portion is recorded so the client can continue listening at home. I essentially give them positive affirmations and Scripture to meditate on. The more clients listen to their Christian hypnosis recording, the better their results.

Obviously, what you meditate on is important. Anything can be misused or abused. Medicine is a great thing, but it is misused and abused every day. Christian hypnosis and meditation is a great way to draw closer to God, but people can meditate or dwell on evil as well. Be sure to always fill your mind with goodness.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

18 Jan, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

When Life Really Hurts

Sometimes, when life really hurts, finding comfort can feel like an impossibility. When something happens that can’t be fixed, like a loved one dying, the grief can be all-consuming. Unexpected tribulations such as losing your job, an intimate betrayal, or serious illness can leave you feeling helpless and alone. It’s natural to question how God could let these things happen. Even if you realize your pain is the consequence of an action and not God’s doing, the pain is real.

Intense emotional distress can wreak havoc in your life. Fatigue, headaches, nausea, loss of appetite, foggy thinking, etc. are common side effects of emotional pain. It can even be too difficult to sort your thoughts out enough to know how to pray for help. God understands, and the Holy Spirit is there to intercede on our behalf.

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:26-28, ESV).

Waiting for Comfort

It’s easier to be patient when you know what you’re waiting for is coming. When you’re really hungry, you want to eat right now. However, after ordering in a restaurant, you can politely and quietly wait because you know you’ll have food soon. You have faith that the server wrote down your order correctly and gave it to the cook. You have faith the cook will prepare the food properly and the server will bring it to your table. If we can have that much faith in a stranger, why can’t we have faith in God, who loves us?

If you get a headache, you take an over-the-counter pain reliever and, if possible, sit quietly until it passes. You don’t yell, cry, and complain until it goes away because you know relief is coming. A toddler may cry until it goes away because she doesn’t understand what is happening or when it will end. A toddler has not yet learned the patience that comes with faith. This is how we sometimes behave when we ask God for help. We complain he doesn’t do it as fast or in the manner we think best.

Ordering food and taking a pill are measures we initiate ourselves to bring comfort. Praying for God to help us through discomfort is handing over control. Do we think we can do it better than God? Do we doubt his infinite power? Are we not convinced he honors his Word in Scripture? Why do we put faith in ourselves, God’s creation, and not the Creator?

Building Faith to Find Comfort

As a child grows and recovers from childhood sicknesses and minor injuries, he learns to trust his caretakers’ first-aid abilities. He develops faith that when he’s told a medicine or treatment will make him well, it will do just that. Likewise, the caretakers provide the child with increasing responsibility to learn what can be entrusted to him. The more opportunities that demonstrate trust, the greater the faith grows for child and caretaker.

This is why new believers are referred to as “Baby Christians.” Their age doesn’t matter. They have to go through faith-building trials to learn what God will do for them. “But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it” (1 Corinthians 3:1-2, ESV). Little lessons every day build faith gradually. A big test, something you cannot handle, will build great faith, but it may not happen instantaneously.

It’s hard to see that God is doing anything when you’re collapsing under the chaos of extreme emotional pain. When innocent people get hurt, it’s hard to make sense of anything. But if you trust God to make beauty from the ashes, you’ll come out the other side faithful and strong. You’ll be able to look back and see God’s hand was in it every step of the way.

Faith in God = Finding Comfort

I don’t mean to imply blind faith is easy. Of course it isn’t. Imperfect humans with their own selfish agendas have taught us all to depend on ourselves and not others. But God is not an imperfect human. He allows us to go through struggles to make us stronger. Working out with weights is hard, but the more you do it, the stronger you become. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11, ESV). Keep the faith.

While struggling and unable to find comfort, patience is hard when all you can do is wait. “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31, ESV). God promises to get you through it. He does not agree to run his plans by you first. If he created the universe and everything in it, he can handle your problems without your input.

So whatever you’re going through, know that you are not alone – ever! If you keep the faith and wait on the Lord, your pain will ease. Acknowledging that God knows more than you and he moves without your understanding is a great step in faith that will be rewarded. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, ESV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Linda Thomas

11 Jan, 2023

Serenity Christian Muse

Rise Above Everything Bad

The need to rise above sharks swimming in the ocean

Wouldn’t the ability to rise above everything bad be an awesome gift? Not in a superior manner, but rather to not get bogged down in the muck and mire of negativity. Sometimes you can walk into a room and feel the tension is so thick you wish you hadn’t entered. Ever have so much going on you feel like you can’t even catch your breath? Rising above it all would be great.

Sometimes the negativity we need to rise above is ourselves. When you have too much hurt inside it can feel as if you’re stuck and unable to pull yourself out. Having to physically be in a negative workplace or home is horrible. When you live in a state of confusion, frustration, fear, or constant belittling, life can feel hopeless. Constant negative external forces can consume you to the point where you don’t even know why you feel so awful. You just know you are miserable and don’t know how to fix it.

Negativity is heavy on your mind and your body. I can remember being a kid during the winter months and not wanting to get up for school. I was tired and felt sick knowing I had a test to take or an oral report to give. Then I found out school was cancelled due to bad road conditions. Suddenly I felt wide awake, happy, healthy, and ready to get my day started. The anxiety of performing poorly affected my mind and body. Once the anxiety was gone, or in my case, delayed a day, I felt great.

Hidden Negativity

Other issues that weigh us down are feelings such as inadequacy, shame, or regret. Many people won’t share these feelings or even talk them out with a professional. These feelings just get shoved down deep and guarded so others won’t know. We don’t want anyone to know we have problems or that we’ve done something wrong.

When emotions get suppressed, they can’t just be buried and forgotten. They come out as misdirected anger, depression, nightmares, anxieties, etc. Worse, keeping all the negativity bottled up can manifest in physical forms such as high blood pressure or digestive issues. All those toxic hidden feelings just pick away and wear you down. Just because no one can see it and you don’t acknowledge it, doesn’t mean it’s gone.

Let’s use the ocean as a metaphor. Looking from the beach on a beautiful day, you see the water, some gentle waves, maybe a sailboat. What you don’t see is everything under the surface. There are shipwrecks, junk, and a lot of creatures that could easily kill you. Suppressing your feelings is like sinking into the ocean with all that stuff. You might be okay for a little while, but eventually, something will find you, or your strength will give out.

Faith to Rise

Continuing the ocean metaphor, if you’re treading water, sinking, or anchored to the sea floor, you need to rise. You need to get more than your head above water. You need to rest on something safe and solid. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2, ESV).

Many Christians believe Jesus is who He says He is, yet they lack the faith that He’ll do what He says He’ll do. Peter walked with Jesus, heard Him preach, and observed Jesus’s healings and other miracles. But when Peter asked Jesus to let him walk on water with Him, he doubted and began to sink.

This story is recorded in Matthew 14:28-31, (ESV), “And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?””

I think we all act like Peter at times. We ask Jesus for help. Jesus begins answering our prayer. Some little thing comes along, like the wind, and just like that, we forget the extent of Jesus’ power. I mean, the man was walking on top of the water! Peter thought the wind would be too much?

Rise and Shine

When we ask Jesus to come into our lives, He forgives us. He washes us clean. The debt of every sin has been paid by Jesus on the cross. Yet, we keep the guilt and shame buried inside. Jesus doesn’t want us to keep beating ourselves up for past mistakes and bad behavior. To do this is actually rejecting the forgiveness and the price paid for it.

Imagine if you spent all day making bread for a homeless person who doesn’t have any food. You happily give that person the bread. They take the bread, take a few bites, and thank you. Then they toss it on the ground and root through the trash for something to eat instead. Rooting through the trash is what they know to survive. It’s not a healthy way to survive. Plus, you just provided them with tasty and nourishing food that you prepared and gave with love. And it was rejected for an inferior method of meeting a need.

When you ask Jesus to come into your life, he reaches out his hand to pull you from the dangerous water. He forgives your sin and cleanses you so that His light will replace the darkness. Accept the full gift of salvation and rise above the water teeming with danger and past disasters. Let Him cleanse you and shine brightly in the knowledge that He is always there. “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7, ESV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Toxic Purge

Linda Thomas

4 Jan, 2023

Do You Need a Toxic Purge?

Skull and crossbones toxic sign.

Has negativity built up in your life to the point of needing to do a toxic purge? Every year when January rolls around, everyone is talking about creating the new you. Sure, most people could stand more exercise and a better diet but what about improving the mind? Mental health is too often only discussed when there is a problem and a stigma attached. Our minds need to be just as healthy as our bodies, and arguably, even healthier than our bodies.

The most obvious indication of a sick or unhealthy mind is someone who commits heinous crimes. Thankfully these people are a small minority. What the majority of people need help with is depression, anxiety, self-worth, etc. When people neglect their mental health, they often end up with physical health issues as well. Headaches, digestive issues, and unexplained pain are all trademark side effects of someone with depression, anxiety, and the like.

Psychosomatic symptoms from poor mental health are a serious concern and can be disabling. If having negative and toxic thoughts and issues can cause negative physical effects, the opposite is also true. Filling your mind and life with positive thoughts, people, and environments has a positive effect on your physical well-being. To fill your mind and life with positives means you need to purge the negative to make room.

Mind Over Body

As a hypnotherapist, I see the power of the mind over the body every day. This power can be either a powerful positive force or a destructive negative assault. The negative assault would include the physical health issues already mentioned as well as continued decline in mental well-being. Have you ever been around someone who only sees the negative in everything and is depressing to be around? It’s my job to help my clients replace that toxic negativity with positive thoughts and behavior for whole body enrichment.

Using hypnosis, I’ve had the privilege of seeing clients’ anxiety disappear right before my eyes. Clients have gone from sobbing frantic and hopeless messes to smiling calm and confident optimists. Clients have reported headaches, pain, and even addiction vanishing after hypnosis. I’ve witnessed stutters, involuntary throat clearing, and hair pulling greatly improve or cease all together. And my greatest mind over body witness was when a client paralyzed from a stroke began moving his foot.

The mind is incredibly powerful. Use that power to improve life instead of damaging it. If you constantly tell a child she is stupid, she will begin to believe it. She’ll feel no need to apply herself and she’ll settle for much less than she’s capable of achieving. Tell that same child she is smart and capable of anything, and the sky is the limit for what she accomplishes. The same goes for what you tell yourself. Build yourself up.

Hanging On

Some people hold on to dysfunctional and negative thoughts and ways of life for various reasons. Change is not embraced by everyone. Some people are surrounded by other negative people and it’s all they know. Pride has a habit of getting in the way of progress as well. Not everyone is eager to admit they could be doing things better. Some people have been hurt to the point they refuse to trust anyone and let them into their world. This is a very sad and lonely way to live. Looking past someone’s shortcomings and sins is not condoning it. We want others to do the same for us because none of us is perfect. “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:20, ESV).

Scripture does not tell us to be doormats. We’re told to stand up for ourselves and let someone know when they’ve wronged us, but also to forgive. “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (Luke 17:3-4, ESV). Holding grudges and dwelling on offenses committed against us is exhausting. Letting the negativity go is freeing. It’s like dumping a backpack full of rocks.

Recognizing the Problem

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24, ESV). Notice that this Scripture states that if your brother has a problem with you instead of you having a problem with your brother. Just because something isn’t bothering you doesn’t mean something you did or said isn’t bothering someone else. Jesus instructs us to make things right with each other and be reconciled.

When you’ve been part of a longstanding feud or separation, you may think it isn’t bothering you. Constant fighting or a separation from someone you care about is a negativity that festers with time, it doesn’t improve. There was a rift in my family years ago and the separation and negativity became a normal part of life, but this isn’t normal.

Reconcile

Most parents, myself included, would happily endure a sickness or injury if it meant bringing their family back together. Two weeks ago, my younger brother texted me that our mom was having trouble breathing and asked if I could sit with her while he was at work. I got to the house and decided to take her to the hospital. She was quickly diagnosed with double pneumonia and admitted to the ICU. Her first two nights there, she was not expected to survive.

While sitting beside my mom in the ICU, all my brothers and all our children were made aware of her condition. Almost everyone showed up at the hospital for her. She is now recovering at home after her sickness brought her family back together and her family encouraged her to fight to heal. She was the catalyst for our family’s toxic purge.

Our mom’s sickness, that almost killed her, brought our family back together. My family celebrated Christmas together for the first time in nine years. Everyone needed to dump all the toxic negativity and focus on what’s important – our mother and our family. There are still conversations that need to occur and not everyone has made the toxic purge yet, but there is great progress. Seeing everyone at Christmas talking, laughing and getting along was absolutely wonderful. Even though I hadn’t participated in the family feud, seeing the reconciliation made me happy and made me feel physically lighter and healthier.

Don’t let toxic negativity take root in your life. Make a toxic purge.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Doing the Right Thing

Linda Thomas

29 Dec, 2022

Painting of The Good Samaritan doing the right thing and helping a stranger.
The Good Samaritan

Is it possible to do the right thing and end the suffering?

Doing the right thing isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Morally speaking, most people know what is right and wrong, but sometimes doing what is right hurts innocent people or yourself. For example, if your boss or coworker is unethical or corrupt, speaking up may help others but hurt you.

When you’re in a horrible situation, your first thought is usually to get out of it as soon as possible. This is especially true if you caused the problem. When experiencing difficulty to no fault of your own, it’s still natural to want it to stop. But is it possible to do the right thing and end the suffering?
What if your turbulence is pushback from doing the right thing when everyone else is against doing the right thing? Worse, what if they are willfully doing the wrong thing for self-serving, corrupt, or malicious reasons? Do you keep fighting? Should you give in? Can you walk away?
Sometimes the answer is deeper than your immediate comfort or the possible consequences for continuing the fight. Oftentimes, your choice will have a far broader reach than just you. Perhaps people who can’t fight, need you to fight for them.

Do not conform

Romans 12:2 (NIV) says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” This Scripture clearly tells us that we’re not to go along with immoral and evil acts of the world. And when we choose to focus on God’s good, pleasing and perfect will, our minds are renewed with Godly thinking instead of worldly thinking. This renewed thinking will help us know when something is wrong, but then, what do we do about it?
We are told to ask for wisdom in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (NIV). This wisdom is to help us discern our next steps, but only for God’s purpose, not our own selfish desires. This means, when someone wrongs you, don’t ask for wisdom to get revenge.

Trials of many kinds

If the wisdom you seek includes, “Why is this happening to me,” just back up to James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Notice the Scripture says, ‘whenever’ you face trials, not, ‘if.’
Following God and choosing to do the right thing means trials are a given, so learn from them. You’ll never cross the finish line if you don’t persevere and keep running through the shin splints and side cramps. Even if you cross that finish line last, you can count it as a successful race, because you completed it while others watched or ignored it altogether.

Sold into slavery

In the Bible, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of him. Joseph’s brothers told their father a wild animal killed Joseph. In slavery, Joseph was falsely accused of trying to seduce his boss’s wife, and thrown in jail (Genesis 37 and 39). That’s a lot of persecution for a righteous person.
Through all of Joseph’s suffering, God never left him. Joseph rose from imprisoned slave to second-in-command under Pharaoh. Joseph even got the chance to get revenge on his brothers when they sought food in Egypt. He played a trick on them to amplify their guilt for selling him into slavery two decades earlier. But then, he quickly chose to forgive and reconcile with his brothers (Genesis 42-47). Joseph endured a great deal of suffering, but God used it for his good. This put him in a position to save his family and all of Egypt from a 7-year famine.

Continue trusting God

Scripture tells us to continue trusting God when nothing makes sense and we feel abandoned among our enemies. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV). He WILL make everything work out for your good, although it may not be what you thought or wanted. Even though our kids want candy, we give them fruits and vegetables because healthy eating will serve them better.
In whatever struggle you encounter for doing the right thing, know it will be worth it in the end. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV). Regardless of how bad the situation becomes, have faith that God is still in control, and your reward will eventually come to fruition.
People of the world tend to take the good you do and use it for their own gain. They lie, cheat, and manipulate, then discard you like yesterday’s trash. “They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more” (Ephesians 4:18-19, NIV).

Blessed for persevering in doing the right thing

Whatever you do for God, he will bless you. “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12, NIV). For this reason, if you lose the fight in man’s eyes, know that God sees you as a winner, and the ordeal will make you stronger and wiser. “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).


Do what is right, even when it costs you friends, your job, worldly opportunities, etc. Stand up for what is right, even when you stand alone, because it’s better than submitting to the dark side. “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:45, NIV). Don’t worry about people taking your ideas, work, opportunities, or preventing you from receiving what you deserve. God is not outdone. Anything he has for you is better than anything you can get on your own.

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Patience

Linda Thomas

21 Dec, 2022

Who Needs Patience?

little boy patiently waiting next to a clock

Everyone’s patience is tested, sometimes multiple times a day. We try not to sigh in disgust while waiting in line at the bank or grocery store behind someone taking more time than we think they should. It’s a struggle to focus on work when anticipating an upcoming vacation. Every mother knows the eager counting down of days to the birth of a baby. These are all normal life occurrences where we often wish we could speed up time.

Even my dog, Baron, shows his impatience when he wants me to throw a ball. If I don’t throw the ball the instant he gives it to me, he begins to shake, stomp his feet, and bark at me until I throw it. When he knows he gets to go somewhere, he begins running in circles in front of the door, jumping and barking instead of holding still for me to put his harness on him.

We were never promised an easy or perfect life. What we do during the hard and imperfect times shapes our character and teaches us that waiting is worthwhile. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12, ESV).

Who Has Patience?

No one is born with patience. A screaming hungry infant is proof of that. When we want something, we want it now, especially if it will ease discomfort. When we’re sick, or a loved one is sick, healing can never come fast enough.

Learning something new takes time and some new things are more painful than others. Listening to someone learn to play the tuba is much harder than eating the cake decorating flops of a baker. The longer it takes to learn something, the more value it has.

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5, ESV).

I used to work in a juvenile correctional facility. One day during rec time, the boys wanted me to shoot a 3-pointer basket. All the other staff could do it. I rolled my eyes and told them I couldn’t. The boys wouldn’t let me off the hook. They kept giving me pointers, showing me how to stand, and retrieving the ball. After ten minutes of missing, I finally did it and the entire gym erupted in pandemonium. Miss Linda finally shot a 3-pointer! It was silly, but they took pride in taking the time to teach me something.

A Patient Appearance

Some people appear to have the patience of a saint, but rather, they have lost hope. Instead of calmly waiting for the thing they want, they’ve accepted they’ll never receive it. This is truly sad. To have given up and expect nothing is a dark and lonely place to reside.

On the other hand, a parent pretending to be patient can help children learn it’s okay to wait. I think I was always more excited for Christmas day than my kids. I couldn’t wait to see their faces when they saw the presents under the tree and Santa’s cookie plate empty.

Their stockings were always full of candy to hype them up and small toys for all of us to play with together. An hour after waking, the floor would be covered with torn wrapping paper, decks of cards, foam darts, pull-back race cars, and other gadgets. This tradition continued into adulthood. I always tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal – until Christmas day arrived. But I couldn’t wait, and every year I tried to top the Christmas day fun.

Embrace the Wait

I worked in an assisted living center after high school and money was tight. I commented to an elderly resident one day that I wished it was Friday because I needed my paycheck. She winced and said, “Oh, never wish time away. One day you’ll wish you could get it back.” I never forgot her words of wisdom.

That wise resident’s words have echoed a warning in my head with every moment I wanted to speed through. As a result, I’ve savored every minute I’ve ever had with my kids. I will admit I hated being pregnant, but I had morning sickness 24/7 for nine months.

I loved teaching them to walk, talk, and feed themselves. Homework, practices, and projects were not always joyous times, but I was thankful for it just the same. I am grateful to have been able to be the one to take care of my kids when they were sick. I was able to make my kids comfortable and feel safe. What an honor and a gift from God.

Patience is a Virtue

As we grow older and realize the benefit of waiting politely and calmly, patience comes a bit easier. When you have a job to do and you rush through the end just to get it done, the finished project usually leaves evidence of your haste. Looking at that evidence day after day makes you wish you had taken your time and done it right.

The story of the prodigal son in Luke chapter 15 describes a son who wanted his inheritance now instead of waiting. He wasted the money and ended up living in squalor before coming back to his father in shame. When we’re in a hurry to get something, we make mistakes, people often get hurt, and we have regrets.

In a society where everyone wants it all and they want it right now, slowing down to enjoy the journey is more valuable than the stuff everyone is trying to get.  God says to be patient and not anxious. Don’t worry about the people sinning to get ahead. If we do good and wait on the Lord, we will be heirs in His Kingdom, and what could be better than that?

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land” (Psalm 37:7-9, ESV).

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Trust

Linda Thomas

7 Dec, 2022

How Trusting are You?

trusting a mountain climbing partner

A Google search of the word, ‘trusting,’ yields synonyms such as gullible, naïve, unguarded, and unsuspecting. These adjectives make it sound like only a simpleton would ever trust anyone. If this were the case, we would never leave our children with anyone. We wouldn’t eat food we didn’t grow and prepare ourselves. We would never try anything new or accept new facts. What a stressful and awful life that would be!

Drop the ‘ing’ from trusting and the word, ‘trust’ yields synonyms such as belief, reliance, confidence, and faith. These are very positive verbs. We trust our washing machines to clean our clothes so we can dress properly for work. Then we trust we’ll receive a paycheck for going to work. And we trust the bank will keep that deposited check safe until we use it. These examples have been proven consistently, with few exceptions, so we expect them to function as promised.

So, as a verb, to have trust in someone or something means you confidently believe. But as an adjective, a trusting characteristic means you’re easily swindled? Is anyone else confused?

Blind Faith

Scripture tells us to have blind faith, or complete trust, in God even when we can’t verify anything or know all the details.  “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1, ESV). We’re to have a trusting characteristic – for God.

This blind faith is exclusive to God. He doesn’t want us taken advantage of. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, ESV). Nor does he want us unguarded or uninformed. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5, ESV).

God asks for our unwavering faith because he has already proven himself over and over as completely pure and trustworthy to his people. He had Noah build an ark to save believers from the flood (Genesis 6-8). God gave Sarah a baby in her old age (Genesis 18-21). He parted the Red Sea for the Israelites during their exodus from Egypt but drowned their pursuers (Exodus 14). The Bible is full of events where God proved himself trustworthy.

Earning Trust

God can ask for blind faith in him because he has earned that trust a bazillion times over. People, on the other hand, need to earn their trustworthy status. Babies are completely vulnerable and helpless. They must trust their parents or caregivers to provide for them. When the caregivers do not consistently meet the child’s needs, the child learns distrust.

Think about your own life. Have you ever had someone you believed in whole-heartedly who betrayed your trust? Even if it only happened once, did you ever trust them again? Second chances are a wonderful thing, but usually not given freely. The second chance person is usually trusted with small things while working their way back up to complete trust, if they ever get it back.

None of us are perfect. We all have the potential to break someone’s trust. Relationships suffer after broken trust. In a marriage when one spouse cheats, the other will always question if they’re still cheating. Broken trust may be forever.

Preparation

How do we learn to trust others? Well, it’s unreasonable to expect someone else to be trustworthy if you are not trustworthy, so begin with yourself. Be an honest and trustworthy person. Take small chances to determine if someone is ready for bigger trust. I didn’t just decide one day to leave my kids home alone all day. They first had to show me they knew how to handle the household, keep the doors locked, know how to answer the phone to strangers. And then I began leaving them alone for short periods of time that turned into longer periods of time.

I prepared for leaving my dog, Baron, at home by himself outside of his kennel the same way. He didn’t learn how to answer the phone. I shut doors and put tempting chewables away. I put a camera on him so I could watch him while hiding outside. Baron had to learn what’s permissible and that I’ll always come back for him.

When I adopted Baron, he was about a year old, and he already had healed scars on his face and neck. He’s a rescue from unknown to me horrors. He had to learn that he can trust me not to hurt him no matter what he does. The other day, he got in the trash and made a big mess. I scolded him when I got home and then took him to the back door to go outside to potty. As he sat there waiting for me to open the door, I swear he was smiling that his punishment for being bad did not include a beating.

Let Go and Trust

At some point, you will either have to decide you do not trust someone or take a chance and let them prove their trustworthiness. I had to take that chance on Baron last week when he tested for the AKC Canine Good Citizen award. Months of training and frustration over his bullheadedness had finally come down to the wire.

No treats are permitted during the test. I had to trust he would obey my commands for ‘free.’ The test included me leaving him with the tester for three minutes while I was out of his sight. I had to trust that he knew what to do without me. Baron of Serenity passed his test, and he was so proud the rest of the night, as was I.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

Find self-hypnosis and meditation mp3s to download in the Serenity Christian Hypnosis Store.

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Revenge

Linda Thomas

30 Nov, 2022

Is Revenge Okay?

human fist punching and wanting revenge

Revenge seems natural after being betrayed, maliciously attacked, or outcast because it hurts. When you are conscientiously trying to be a good person and do the right thing, you’re blindsided by this treatment. It’s easy to let anger replace the initial shock and pain. Anger often turns to thoughts of making the attacker pay for their crime, or in short, revenge.

Naturally, everyone wants justice. Oftentimes, the person with the authority to grant it either chooses to ignore your mistreatment, or they’re the cause. In these situations, justice is unlikely. In these situations, if you attempt to get justice, you may actually be the one punished – again. People should pay for their actions when they hurt someone, especially if they hurt people intentionally. So, if no one cares or believes you, is it okay to get revenge? God says, “No.”

Scripture is clear that God will avenge us. “Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly” (Deuteronomy 32:35, ESV). It’s important to note that your vindication may not occur for a long time. Don’t think God has forgotten you. We just have to trust it is on his agenda and will be dealt with at the right time, meaning, his time.

The Best Defender

Waiting is hard, but God is the best defender you could possibly get. It’s especially difficult to wait for God’s vengeance if your character and/or professional reputation have been blemished or destroyed. Waiting also proves difficult when the damage has cost you dearly either monetarily or personally.

When rebuilding yourself, you have the opportunity to prove your attacker wrong through your actions. Harsh words against the other party will mean very little and may even make people believe you are being vengeful out of guilt. Actions definitely speak louder than words. Not speaking against the other person gives you dignity. Think about political smear ads. They’re annoying and may turn you against the best candidate.

Revenge’s Best Judge and Sentencer

Sometimes, the hurt we endure is due to a misunderstanding. The person who hurt us may not have meant to, or they may have inaccurate information. This does not excuse the poor treatment, but God is usually the only one with all the correct information. This makes God the best judge of the situation and the best one to sentence the attacker.

The more we do the right thing, the more evidence persecutors build against themselves. This was the case in 1 Samuel 25:1-42. Nabal, a wealthy yet wicked man, refused to help David and his men in the desert after they had looked after his livestock. After Nabal’s wife, Abigail, provided food for David and his men, she told her husband what she had done. Upon hearing this, Nabal had a heart attack and died 10 days later. David then took Abigail to be his wife.

God avenged Joseph after his jealous brothers sold him and told their father he was killed by a wild animal. Talk about sibling rivalry! Joseph suffered but ended up being second only to Pharoah in all of Egypt. His brothers ended up asking Joseph for food during a famine. Joseph could easily have taken revenge on his brothers and let them starve or had them imprisoned, but he didn’t. In this situation, God reconciled Joseph with his brothers (Genesis 37:1-50:26). God knows best.

Be An Example

Jesus gave us the absolute best example for righteous living. We may not be perfect like He is, but we can strive. Contrary to popular opinion, turning the other cheek does not make you weak. Striking back at someone who intentionally harmed you is a natural and human instinct. Holding back takes resolve.

Scripture tells us to do what is honorable for everyone to see. “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord”” (Romans 12:17-19, ESV). Scripture goes on to tell us to live peacefully without getting revenge because God will do that for us.

God, our defender, further instructs us to repay the wrong done to us with goodness. “To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:20-21, ESV). Rather than fighting fire with more fire, the Bible says to douse the flames with water, holy water maybe.

Our sins are forgiven because of Jesus’ sacrifice. We don’t deserve it. Forgiving those who don’t deserve our forgiveness is following Jesus’ example and showing our persecutors a better way. What people do with those Christian examples is up to them. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.

Lighten Your Burden

Forgiving and putting the offense out of your mind frees you to be happy and concentrate on things that benefit you. When you are focused on doing the right thing, you don’t have need or desire to waste time worrying about what someone else is doing. Feeling the need for revenge is a heavy burden.

Not worrying about what other people are doing is obviously easier said than done. If someone is actively attacking you, it’s in the forefront of your mind. But if we pray for our enemies as we’re told, we can trust God to do what he says he will. “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9, ESV). When we bless our enemies, God will bless us.

Perhaps studying what God tells us to do in the face of adversity and looking forward to the blessing is a better use of our time. That way, we can leave all that revenge stuff to the One who does it best.

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Thankful?

Linda Thomas

23 Nov, 2022

Thankful for What?

We need to practice being thankful every day of the year for everything we have. Sometimes, being thankful for anything is a struggle. When your life includes overwhelming physical pain or emotional trauma, the pain can claim priority over everything else. It’s hard to feel grateful when life sucks and your needs are not being met. It can feel impossible to be appreciative when everyone around you is thankful for the very things you lack.

despaired woman touching head in room

The holidays can feel like a cruel joke to some. People who are isolated, separated from loved ones, or are grieving the loss of a loved one are struggling. Hearing people talk about all the relatives coming for Thanksgiving dinner is like a knife in the chest to someone who can’t be with the people they love. Listening to people complain about everything they have to do for Thanksgiving dinner is like turning that knife.

Being invited to celebrate with someone else’s family may amplify the fact that the other family has what you don’t. Inviting people who will otherwise be alone is an act of compassion, but it could make the invitee feel lonelier than if they were actually alone. The pain of being in the middle of someone else’s happiness may create anxiety and cause the lonely person to feel that their loneliness is in the spotlight.

Be Aware

Obviously, everyone shouldn’t have to tip-toe around everyone else during the holidays and pretend to be miserable to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s normal to be happy and share your happiness, just be aware that not everyone is having the same experience. It can be a real downer to hear someone express their heartache when you’re loving life. That said, most people just need to be heard. They don’t expect anyone to fix their problems and they don’t want any kind of charity. They just want to know their pain is valid and to know they’re not invisible.

Inviting people to share in your holiday festivities is a wonderful and generous gesture. Just be aware that it may make the other person uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with you. If they refuse, keep the offer open in case they change their mind. Knowing that someone cares and understands their situation goes a long way to comfort them.

For goodness’s sake, keep your advice to yourself unless you are directly asked for it. Unless you have personal experience with their exact situation or you’re a counselor or other authority on the matter, you don’t understand how they feel. “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:2, ESV). It’s insulting to have people clueless about what you’re going through tell you how to feel and what to do.

Shift the Focus

If you’re one of the lonely people during the holidays, do your best to shift the focus off your sadness. Volunteer your time at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, or other non-profit organization. If you know of other lonely people, get together with them and start your own new traditions. Think of ways you can help someone who wants help. When you help others, you’ll begin to feel a sense of purpose and belonging.

When your sadness is due to a loss, focus on the good memories and do something that honors that person. Make their favorite dish, light a special candle, do something they enjoyed. If you’re able, you could donate in your loved one’s name to an organization he or she liked or supported. Do something for yourself that your loved one would want you to do.

Happy Scrapping

Crafting might not be for everyone. But anyone can construct a binder with pictures, stories, and quotes that reminds you of your value and generates smiles. The contents can come from your own collection, newspapers, magazines, or posts found online and printed. The construction need not be fancy. A simple 3-ring binder with printer paper works just fine. Sliding the completed pages into clear page protectors will make it sturdier and eliminate the need for3-hole hole punching. The only rule for compiling items in the book is that they must make you feel good.

This may sound like a silly idea. However, once you set out to find stories and quotes that make you happy, you’ll be conditioning yourself to seek out pleasant things rather than focusing on the bad. Being able to see the positive in every situation is a gift. This gift makes life more enjoyable and bearable in times of crisis and turmoil. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22, ESV).

Look for Blessings

Finding negativity is easy but there is little value in it. Sure, it’s important to understand dangers, risks, and potential consequences. But for the most part, being optimistic is a much more enjoyable and healthy way of life. Looking for blessings doesn’t mean you have to wear rose-colored glasses and only see wonderful things where there really aren’t any. It means that you choose to illuminate the good rather than evil. Don’t let evil win.

The more you look for blessings and find things to be thankful for, the easier it is. The easier it is, the more it becomes instinctive. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8, ESV). If you like a challenge or are competitive, make a game of finding something to be thankful for in every situation and every hour. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you choose thankfulness in spite of pain.

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Disappointment

Linda Thomas

16 Nov, 2022

Disappointment is Inevitable

bald man facing white wall in disappointment

Experiencing disappointment is part of life. From letdowns as simple as a vending machine being out of your favorite snack to heartache as big as betrayal by someone you love, disappointment is inevitable. Scripture lets us know to expect problems and thereby, disappointment. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” John 16:33, (ESV).

God’s Word says we’ll have tribulation, but it also says we can have peace through Jesus. This is not to say we should sit by idly while everything falls apart around us. We still need to do our best, do the right thing, and help others. But we can turn our disappointment over to God in exchange for peace whenever our efforts fall short. It takes practice but having faith that God has it all under control lifts a weight off your shoulders.

It’s Normal

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12, ESV). It doesn’t get any clearer than this. Scripture says not to be surprised when we have problems. It’s normal! So, if problems are normal, we really need to be ready for disappointment.

Parents are all too familiar with training and guiding their children on the path that is in their best interest only to have them make a detour. We can’t control other people – even our children, especially if they’re adults. All we can do is pray for them, be available to them without judgement, and be the example they need. Leave the rest to God, because meddling only pushes them further away and worry only ages you prematurely.

It’s frustrating when you see someone making poor decisions and you can help, but your help is not wanted. The pain we’re going through isn’t always about us. The person making poor decisions has something to learn and some people insist on learning the hard way.

Giving Your Best

Disappointment can come even after we have done everything skillfully and with the best intentions. In the past, I have been asked to volunteer my expertise to a church. I spent hours planning, researching, shopping with my own money, working, and bringing it all together in a fashion I was proud to present to God. All my effort was then disregarded rather than appreciated. I was hurt, but I took it to God. A church that doesn’t respect its members – and this was not an isolated incident for me or others in the church – is not worthy of the efforts and sacrifices presented by those members.

Just because you do something well and your service or gift was needed, does not mean it will be received well or valued. That’s okay. Our acts should be for God and not our own ego. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58, ESV). As long as our efforts are done to the best of our ability and for the Lord, we can be confident He is pleased with us.

After praying about the incident with the unappreciative church, God led me and the other members to churches where we are all able to serve and communities are made better through our efforts. No one is perfect or good at everything, but there is a place for us all and God can use each and every one of us. If one church or organization is not a good fit, find another one because there is always a need. Don’t let disappointment over things working out differently than you expected thwart your good deeds.

All We Can Do

The bottom line is that all we can do, is all we can do. If our hearts are in the right place and we’re doing our best, that’s all we can do. Bad things happening is reality, and we don’t always get what we want or what we expect. I want my dog, Baron, to stay off the couch and out of the trash when I’m gone. Unless I barricade the couch and keep the trash locked down, he is going to do both. Being disappointed does nothing to help the situation, but it does teach me how to improve my efforts the next time. This is how I know to lock down the trash and barricade the couch.

When people let you down, especially close loved ones, do some introspection. If you find you did something wrong, fix it or make amends. If you did nothing wrong, you have to let God sort it out because it’s all you can do, and he really does know more than we do. Whether you did something wrong or not, learn from the experience.

Don’t Sweat It

The hardest disappointment to deal with is when you don’t know what went wrong. If you don’t know the problem, you can’t fix it. Learning from it can even pose a challenge because you don’t know what to focus on or what to change. But just like any other disappointment, obsessing over it will not make it better.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV).

I am not making the claim that letting God handle it and not worrying about it is easy. It’s extremely hard. But I do have extreme disappointment and heartache in my life. Since giving it to God, my thinking is clearer, my days are more productive, and the burden to fix everything is gone. The situation still hurts, but “the peace that surpasses all understanding” now makes sense to me because I’m experiencing it. We just have to have faith.

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Mistakes

Linda Thomas

9 Nov, 2022

So Many Mistakes

We’re human, so we are going to make mistakes – lots of them. There should be a lesson with every mistake, though, so we don’t continue making the same mistakes. We should also take every opportunity to learn from the missteps of others. In 1 Corinthians 10:11 (ESV), Paul wrote, “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.” Paul was referring to all the things the Israelites did against God during their exodus through the desert.

an encouragement quote on brown paper about mistakes

Some errors are accidental, and some are done out of rebellion, but all have consequences and teaching attributes. For example, I am number four in my sibling order, and I learned a lot of things I shouldn’t do by watching my older brothers. I was taught through bad example. I observed that when my brothers stayed out after curfew the doors were locked and they couldn’t get in the house. So, I learned to keep my bedroom window unlocked when I went out. Sorry, Mom.

Other object lessons have taught me that screaming at someone to calm down does not work. In fact, the louder you scream, the less calm the person becomes. If you want someone to be calm, you must be calm first. And I only needed to make the mistake of reacting badly to one of my kids’ injuries once. When you’re calm, they are calm.

Defying the Mistake

Speaking for myself, there are mistakes I tend to simply defy because…I have no idea why I do this. In case you didn’t know, standing on a rocking chair to reach something up high is very likely to end badly. Even after dozens of hangovers, many people still choose to drink too much. Eating a bunch of junk food results in junky health, but millions of people still do it day after day. Are we stupid?

I think most people know when they’re about to make a mistake but do it anyway because they think it will be worth the consequences. Other people hope they can change the result. Some people do things absentmindedly or when very preoccupied with other thoughts. “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it” (Proverbs 22:3, ESV). This Proverb reminds me of a supervisor I had when I worked at a juvenile community corrections facility. He would always tell the kids, “Don’t do stupid stuff,” (I cleaned up the language), but they kept doing stupid stuff, aaannd, they were in jail.

Ignorance is Bliss

Sometimes people don’t realize they’re doing anything wrong. Have you ever suffered through a person singing the wrong lyrics to a good song? Lots of intelligent people do things wrong because they are unaware of rules or misunderstand instructions. People left to figure things out on their own may think they are getting it right but are not. If you don’t know any better, how are you to know what is right?

I remember when I figured out how to use the “Control/Find” feature in my Word documents. I wrote so many papers in my undergrad studies and had to scan through every line looking for a phrase or word. Knowing how to use that handy feature saved me hours of editing time in graduate school. I sure wish I had learned that sooner.

Sometimes another person’s mistake is beneficial, but does that make it right? If you’re given too much change back, is it right to keep it, or do you tell them? I was recently having dinner at Texas Roadhouse when my fiancé told the server it was my birthday. I hesitantly confirmed the claim then told the server I would happily take the complementary birthday dish of ice cream, but she better not bring that saddle near me. She laughed and said that was fine. When she brought the ice cream, she asked me my name. I told her my name is Linda, but she heard Erica. She then asked me what age I wanted to be – yes, what age I wanted to be – so I said twenty-one. She then shouted to the restaurant that her new best friend, Erica, is twenty-one today. I did not correct her.

Admitting the Error

Having to take accountability for mistakes can be scary. We fear that others will think we’re incompetent or not like us. We let the guilt of blame overshadow owning the error. The liability may feel too great to accept.

A corrections worker once told me that he lost his facility keys – yeah, in the correctional facility. Knowing this blunder would cost him his job was the minimum outcome expectation. If an inmate got ahold of the keys, it would be nothing short of a disaster. The corrections worker set out on an intense search, which included reaching his hand inside every toilet. Moments before accepting his fate and letting his supervisor know the keys were missing, the coworker who had taken the keys, gave them back. I asked him if he beat the coworker over the head with the keys. He said the relief of knowing the keys were safe and that no one needed to know he had “lost” them outweighed his anger. He also maintained control of the keys every minute he was on duty after that incident.

Liberating Acceptance

Despite all the possible negative consequences that result from making mistakes, it’s liberating to own and learn from them. We cannot expect God to protect us from the aftermath of our errors regardless of the circumstances, but accepting our actions lifts the weight of trying to hide those actions. Taking responsibility for your mistakes garners respect. None of us is perfect so pretending you never error is disingenuous.

The Bible is full of good people enduring the consequences of their actions. Consequences are not exclusive to the person who made the mistake. Mistakes usually affect other people, animals, and the environment. Remember, the first mistake made in the Garden of Eden brought sin into the entire world. Being forgiven does not negate consequences. “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap” (Galatians 6:7, ESV). After a mistake, all we can do is learn from it and do better.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

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Off the Leash

Linda Thomas

2 Nov, 2022

Living Off the Leash

Baron playing off the leash.

My dog, Baron, is a perfect gentleman on his gentle lead, but the second he’s off the leash, he’s a maniac. He barks, runs in circles, jumps on furniture, howls like a Wookie, grabs anything on the floor and throws it. In short, Baron acts as wild as he can. He runs hard and has as much fun as he possibly can.

I laugh hysterically when Baron does this, my fiancé, Gary, however, gets a bit stressed at this “off the leash” behavior. Baron just wants to have fun, but in all fairness, he does give Gary a hard time. He can be sleeping in his bed in the living room with me, Gary walks in, and Baron will start howling at him, jumping on him, and throwing slobbery squeaky balls at him. And I swear, Baron laughs when Gary scolds him, maybe because he knows I find him hilarious.

Enjoy Life

There is too much pain in the world to be serious and weary all the time. We need to enjoy our work and make a point to have fun. “There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God…” (Ecclesiastes 2:24, ESV). Baron finds great enjoyment in being a sassy dog. And when Baron is at training, he’s all business!

Even though Gary loves Baron, when Gary’s tired and stressed, Baron’s enthusiasm can be annoying. If we’re honest, I think we all feel that way at times. Happy people can seem really annoying to stressed people. Isn’t this silly? People or animals, enjoying life should be an example to us rather than an irritation.

We act like there is some kind of advantage to being stressed. God tells us that worry, stress, anxiety, and the like are pointless. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble,” (Matthew 6:34, ESV). In a 2017 Psychology Today article titled, Goofing Off: Psychological & Physical Benefits of Having Fun, Marc Bekoff Ph.D., describes animals he’s witnessed just having fun. He goes on to explain the physical and psychological benefits of goofing off. The article makes it clear, that animals know how to relieve and ward off stress.

Health Benefits to Living Off the Leash

So, both God and science agree that going “off the leash” is good for our health – both people and animals. Gary and I attended his great nephews’ birthday party recently. The children’s endless energy fascinated me. They made a deliberate effort to have fun. Everyone joked that they wish they had that much energy. I commented that I believe stress is the reason adults are always too tired to have fun. Toddlers have no stress. But as Baron loves to prove every day, if we just have fun, the stress recedes.

Everyone is so busy these days. We can’t possibly do everything on our ‘to do’ lists. But we get upset if a task takes longer than the time we allotted. Life is full of unexpected delays, setbacks, and detours. Maybe instead of getting all bent out of shape when life whips out a plot twist, we should expect it and look forward to the alternate journey.

Leash the Anger

Getting angry is a stress amplifier and a huge time waster. I can’t be the only one who has let anger prevent me from getting a task done. Or let anger make the job more difficult than necessary. Anger never helps.

Several months ago, I was trying to take a shoe rack out of my closet. I had assembled the rack inside the closet because it was only an inch smaller than the width of the closet. Still, I tried to pull the rack out in one piece because I was in a hurry. I scratched the wall and got mad. So, I began forcefully yanking the rack apart, (because clearly, it was the rack’s fault). I ended up smacking my hand on the wall, then cut my hand with one of the pieces. My anger made the job take way longer, caused me physical injury, and ruined my mood. Naturally, Baron tried to show me the right attitude by stealing shoes and running off with them.

Embrace Time Off the Leash

Obviously, every minute of every day can’t be wild fun. However, we can choose to be mindful of what we have to do. We can take pride and enjoyment in our work. We can appreciate and respect the differences in others and realize that everyone is doing their best. Some people stress everything substantially more than the rest of us. This indicates a lack of faith in themselves, God, or both, and they are not very pleasant to be around.

Some people take on too much and become overburdened, overwhelmed, and under-joyed. I find myself in this group often and I know it is my own fault most of the time. I need to learn to say, “No,” more when I don’t have time to help. Sometimes, we struggle to get out from under an unexpected load dump. In these situations, remember that we can only do so much, we can only work so fast, and we have to take care of ourselves.

Life is a balancing act and prioritizing, planning, and organization are crucial. Just remember, while planning and running around, you need to take time to run off the leash for a while. Even a few minutes will help to clear your head, calm you down, and lift your mood. This will make you perform better. If anyone condemns your choice to enjoy recreation and amusement time, just tell them you are obeying God’s command. “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it,” (Psalm 118:24, ESV).

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

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Just Beneath the Surface

Linda Thomas

26 Oct, 2022

We never know what lies just beneath the surface. As I was walking through dried leaves on the lawn the other day, I commented that the leaves make it hard to spot dog poo. I turned my head back to hear my fiancé say that the dog poo has a way of finding your shoe even under the leaves. And right on cue, I stepped in a pile. So naturally, I blamed him for speaking the yucky into existence on my shoe. It couldn’t have been the fact that I was looking at him instead of where I was walking.

Fall leaves on a lawn hiding what's just beneath the surface.

While cleaning up the yard, and treading lightly through the leaves, I kept thinking how pretty the yard is this time of year. The trees are stunning in their red, brown, and yellow coats. Bright and full mums are center stage in the landscaping. The patches of visible grass are still dark green. And the thin sporadic layer of colorful leaves on the ground are just lovely. But just beneath the surface of those beautiful dry leaves is something vile.

What is Below the Surface

How often are things in life hidden just below the surface? Termites destroy a home while hiding beneath it. Wolf spiders and copperhead snakes hide in holes in the ground. Alligators lie in wait just below the surface of shallow water. Tectonic plates shifting can send vibrations to the earth’s surface resulting in earthquakes. I’ve even heard that Big Foot lives underground, but I can’t confirm that one.

What’s beneath the surface may not be completely hidden, but what is visible is deceptive, like an iceberg. Or the incompetent boss who shows stakeholders professionalism but berates employees then takes credit for their work and blames them for their own mistakes. Like the church deacon addicted to porn. Or the doting father at his children’s functions who abuses his wife and kids behind closed doors. What you see is not always an accurate or honest depiction.

God’s Word describes people like these in 2 Corinthians 11:13-15, (ESV), “For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.” Scripture also warns us about believing every smooth talker we hear. “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 5:6, ESV).

Protect Yourself

The previous two Scriptures express that God does not want us to be fooled, taken advantage of, or abused. They point out that deceptive people are everywhere, and God is not okay with them. Since God can see what is lurking just beneath deceitful people’s surface, we need to ask for wisdom, knowledge, and direction to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

If Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light, we need to be careful who we trust. Expecting people to be perfect is unreasonable, but guard yourself if your gut is telling you something is off, or there have been subtle clues. Every time there is a random mass shooting, people say they had no warning that something was wrong. However, after interviewing several people, all the stories share overlooked or dismissed red flags. That still small voice telling you to be careful is probably God.

Pain Beneath the Surface

Some people hide what is beneath the surface to prevent people from seeing their pain. A server in a restaurant may be using every ounce of strength to do her job with a cheerful attitude while hiding overwhelming stress. A compliment can give her needed strength and confidence, or a nasty insult can destroy her. Someone struggling through domestic violence is hiding bruises under their clothes and a crushed spirit under jokes at their own expense. Bullied students hide behind moody behavior and isolating themselves.

We never know when the thing someone is hiding beneath the surface is unwanted and toxic, but they are unable to free themselves of it. For this reason, we should try to spread peace, joy, and love wherever we go. “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up” (Romans 15:2, ESV). This Scripture isn’t saying you need to do whatever people want you to do. God doesn’t want you to be a doormat. It means to have the heart of Jesus instead of gossiping, insulting, or tearing people down in general. Your words can hurt, or they can help. Choose to help.

Hidden Talents

Sometimes people hide good things. but hiding something good is bad. Many people fear success so when they get close to being successful, they sabotage themselves. Having talents and abilities are blessings – gifts from God. Use your gifts. Don’t hide them. “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:” (1 Peter 4:10, ESV). Gifts don’t have to be spectacular either. Whatever you’re good at is a gift. God will take care of you if you encounter success, so embrace it, don’t run from it. We all have a purpose and God has a plan for us all.

“For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God” (John 3:20-21, ESV). This passage really sums it all up nicely. People who have evil inside their hearts hide what they do to avoid being exposed. Protect yourself from such people and pray that they will choose to come to the light. People who have good and honest hearts walk in the light to give God his due honor. If you are on the side of God, you have nothing to fear. Walk in the light and let your light shine.

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Picking up the Pieces

Linda Thomas

19 Oct, 2022

We all find ourselves picking up the pieces of a devastating experience and we all try to hide our pain. Trying to present our lives as normal, happy, and dare I say, perfect, takes a toll. For years I did my best to portray this image. I tried to be like a beautiful and strong thick lead glass vase, regardless of what festered inside. Resilient enough to withstand less-than-careful handling, keep my contents inside, and still sparkle through faceted details.

Shattered pieces of glass represent our lives when we fall apart and are picking up the pieces.

It doesn’t take a cinderblock to break a lead glass vase. Thousands of pebbles thrown will eventually nick and chip the vase to a pile of tiny shards. Like a detailed lead glass vase, no one could see all the hairline cracks hidden in my faceted details, until I shattered.

Shattered to Pieces

Picking up the pieces was impossible for me. During and after my divorce, I spent a couple years traumatized and suicidal. I tried going through the motions of rebuilding my life, but my meaning for living had been stripped away. Always the protective mom, my children were my reason for living. As adults, they chose a different path, and suddenly, I was alone. My pile of tiny shards kept getting smaller, leaving me with less to rebuild.
Sobbing into my pillow was a nightly occurrence. I begged God to fix everything. I screamed my head off in my car on lonely country roads. I’ve spent most of my life studying God’s Word and trying to be the Christian he needs me to be. Why was God was allowing me to suffer so much?


Then I realized my priorities were off. My children were a gift from God. I prayed to receive them, and I loved every single minute with them. And I put this wonderful gift above everything else in my life, including God. I wasn’t trusting God. I believed only I could protect us. “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” Matthew 10:28, (ESV). While my fear was justified, it was earthly. My focus should have always been on God and trusting he will take care of everything else.

Father Knows Best

Small children have temper tantrums to get their way. Parents must keep their children safe, which means children don’t always get their way. We may not throw ourselves on the floor kicking and screaming, but we adults still insist on getting our way. When God doesn’t give us the answer we want, we justify getting it anyway. God knows things we don’t, just like parents. When we go against God, we usually get hurt. Forgiving those who hurt us is crucial for God to forgive us. But if we’re honest, is our suffering the result of our own action? I’m not talking about blaming the victim. I mean, did a personal choice set off a domino effect that led to the pain? Was the need for picking up the pieces preventable?


I used to tell my kids not to walk into bear caves. This was a metaphor for not putting yourself in a potentially bad situation. If you walk into a cave full of hungry bears, you can’t be surprised when they attack you. Stay out of the bear cave instead of thinking you can convince the bears they’re not hungry. It never works, and only God can change the bear.

The Root of Your Problem

If you are the root of your own problem, ask for forgiveness, then forgive yourself. Only after forgiveness has truly occurred and you’ve given your resulting problem and hurt to God, can the healing begin. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3, (ESV). Picking up the pieces takes time, use that time for reflection, learning, and growing.


Forgiving someone who willfully hurt you is hard, especially if it was a continual practice. Imagine if you could hand that person over to the authorities. They would conduct investigations, interviews, entire court proceedings, and sentencing without you ever having to be involved. That is what it means to forgive someone and let God take care of the rest. You get to go on with your life. When a painful memory creeps in, acknowledge it, let it go, and thank God for getting you to the other side and helping while you’re picking up the pieces.


If you do have to go through legal proceedings, trust that God is looking out for you, even when you can’t see him working. We often have to go through a period of suffering in order to receive the blessing. Sometimes we’re not ready for the blessing. Sometimes the blessing isn’t ready for us. Keep praying. He always hears you.

The Path to Picking up the Pieces

Picking up the pieces and moving on doesn’t mean you condone what has happened. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care for others in your life or that you’ve left them behind. If you are a broken pile of crystal shards, you’re unable to do anything but cut people who get too close. Begin to put those pieces back together one day at a time. Sure, there will be scratches, chips, and lots of new seams where there weren’t any before, but scars are thicker and stronger.


“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2, (ESV). I chose Romans 12:2 as the tagline for my hypnotherapy practice because it is relevant for so many avoidable problems. The world tells us to just “go with the flow.” If we test what’s being said, or what we want, against God’s Word, facts, and logic, we will know if “the flow” is a gentle freshwater stream or an ocean rip current. Don’t conform – transform.

Mosaic Vase

Only allow pure and healthy thoughts in your mind and your attitude and behavior about yourself will follow. When you learn to respect yourself, it will be easier to identify toxic people and set boundaries for protection. And never think you can walk into a bear cave unscathed. It isn’t your job to fix people. As you pick up your pieces, you can put them back and swap them out however you want. Always remember, a gorgeous mosaic is made by picking up the pieces.

Relax to Linda’s Serenity Christian Meditations podcast.

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